Many of our articles on this blog discuss the way a gentleman looks in terms of his physical characteristics, whether they’re his clothes, his grooming or his accessories. However, the most important area for a gentleman to prove himself in is his behaviour towards others and how he is seen by his peers. We understand gentlemanly behaviour comes in many different forms and, as such, are difficult to list in one article. So instead, we’ve put together 5 behaviours that every gentleman should avoid so that they don’t end up being half the man they should be.
1) A Gentleman Shouldn’t Judge Others
Thanks to modern society and the scrutiny that both men and women face from their peers, it is rude for a gentleman to judge others and their behaviours. It is easy to make assumptions about those around us, but never forget that every individual is fighting a battle internally that you probably cannot see. Furthermore, if your friends hear you discussing other people in a negative manner they are less likely to trust you and may even question their friendship with you.
Be kind and respectful to those around you, regardless of whether you know them or not. Manners cost nothing but their value to others is high. Talk about others as you would want them to talk about you.
2) A Gentleman Does Not Talk About Himself Excessively
We’ve said before in our article discussing dating tips for men that talking about yourself more than you talk about other people is a surefire way to alienate those around you. Not only do you come off as egotistical but you also lose the value of you opinions to those around you. Ultimately, people may actively try and exclude you to save from hearing the same stories again and again.
Engage with the people around you and show that you are keen to hear about their activities and achievements, the natural dynamic of the conversation should mean that they will want to hear as much about you as you do of them. People enjoy someone who is passionate about their friend’s interests as well as their own.
3) A Gentleman Is Never Disrespectful Of Others
It can be a common occurrence for men to respect their male peers but not hold their female friends in the same regard. Worse still is if a personal lifestyle choice or career somehow makes someone less respectable. People’s choices are their own and, as such, should not hinder the way you perceive others.
A gentleman’s respect does not waver, regardless of gender, career or sexual persuasion. Gentlemen should support equality and the best way of doing this is by living by it, respect those around you and they, in turn, will respect you.
4) A Gentleman Does Not Define Himself By Money Alone
For those of you who define yourself by your paycheck, you can find yourself alienating those around you. Prioritising money over all other areas of your life can make those around you feel like they are disposable in your eyes. Another common issue is that people tend to never be happy with the amount that they earn and, as such, those who focus on this can end up feeling depressed and affecting those people around him.
Understand that success comes in many different forms; relationships, family, friends and personal health are all areas of your life that can be far more enriching than their perceived financial value. This is not to say that you should bankrupt yourself for the sake of happiness, but just remember that people want to feel valued and loved, money gives you neither.
5) A Gentleman Is Not A Cynic
No doubt this one may be controversial but this is something we firmly believe. Being a cynic is easy. You expect very little from the world and, in return, the world gives you very little back so that way you can never be disappointed. You never take risks for your own ambitions or dare to make a leap of faith. Why would you when you can happily think the worst and be proven right or be pleasantly surprised? However, will others enjoy being around someone so negative?
Understand that a positive mindset is the path to a happier life. Derren Brown once did an experiment that found that people who are more positive about their luck tend to be more lucky. There are various psychologists who believe a positive attitude helps you more easily deal with stress, strengthen your immune system and improve your health. Although it is the harder path to walk it is one that will serve you well for life and improve the lives of those around you, so strive to be more optimistic in your everyday life.
That covers our round-up of ungentlemanly behaviours to avoid in day-to-day life. As always, feel free to comment, like and share with your friends if you’ve enjoyed the article. Be sure to subscribe for future updates from The Male Stylist and keep an eye out for future competitions.
By Adam Walker